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  • Another Oldie

    From Dave Coble@1:2320/100 to All on Tue Feb 1 22:11:36 2005
    Okay, I guess it's time to let the cat out of the bag....

    *I* bought Commodore International, Ltd.!!!!

    I thought about buying a bottle of "Pepsi Free" yesterday, but
    instead, I decided to put that dollar bill to better use. So, in a fit
    of impulsive frenzy, I flew down to the Bahamas and purchased
    Commodore International for ONE DOLLAR, thereby saving the Amiga
    computer platform from an uncertain, oblivious future! As a side
    benefit, I have spared the current Amiga-using community of the endless
    torture of constant rumor-mongering!

    As the new owner of Commodore, I, Robert Owens, hearby pledge to:

    - Hire Howard Stern, Roseanne Arnold, and Barney the Purple Dinosaur as
    spokespersons for the company!

    - Give the Amiga a new name: "Rowdy Rob's Box o' Fun!"

    - Slap all Macintosh and PC users I come into direct contact with!

    - Encourage all Amiga owners to get green mohawk hairdos!

    - Re-introduce the Vic-20 computer to the power-starved masses!

    - Burn 50 copies of MS-DOS each workday morning!

    - Give away a box of Twinkies with each Amiga purchase!

    - Get some underworld thugs to kick Irving Gould's butt off of the
    company premises!

    - Enjoy a cruel laugh as Electronic Arts' 3DO system flops in the
    marketplace!

    - Produce sexist Amiga commercials featuring 50 scantily-clad models
    undulating over a pile of Amiga computers! (Hey, it works for
    Budwieser!)

    - Use my newly acquired clout to convince Newtek to "Get rid of that
    Wil Wheaton chump!"

    - Release a swarm of killer bees at Microsoft headquarters!

    - Include autographed photos of myself in each computer box (in order to
    attract more females to the Amiga platform!)!

    - Hire a bunch of wild, inbred chimpanzees as marketing executives!
    (hey, how much worse could they be?)

    - Find out once and for all if Atari ST owners actually exist, or are
    just mythical figures with no basis in fact!

    - Keep the same 8-year-old, 4-channel sound chip. (Let's see how long we
    can milk this sucker!)

    - Sit through an entire episode of SeaQuest DSV without falling asleep!

    - Include the game "Bloodthirsty Buttkickers from Mars" with each CD32
    game console! *PARENTAL GUIDANCE SUGGESTED*!

    - Skim company profits for my own personal benefit! (You didn't
    seriously think I would let Gould and Ali have all the fun, did you?)

    - Hold my breath until Dave Haynie comes back to work for Commodore!

    - Provide the R&D department with an endless supply of beer and Jello!

    - Sell the names of all known PC users to kinky mailing lists!

    - Introduce a new marketing slogan: "Buy Amigas. We need the money!"

    - Or how about: "Get Funky, Get Hype, Get Fresh, Get Stoopid... Get
    AMIGA!"

    .... and last, but not least,

    I pledge to promote peace, tranquility, and brotherly love amongst
    owners of all brands of computers, so that together, we may ease the
    ills of our society and promote the attributes of generosity, justice,
    virtue, and most of all, wisdom and intelligence.
    For once the world at large develops these traits, they will all collectively wonder..... WHY IN THE HECK DID WE OVERLOOK THE AMIGA IN
    THE FIRST PLACE?!?! MS-DOS?!?! WHAT WERE WE THINKING?!?

    So, fellow Amigans, rejoice and be in good cheer, for *I* am now
    the head honcho at Commodore! Happy days are here again!

    Yours Truly,

    Robert W. Owens
    New CEO, Commodore International, Ltd.
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  • From Todd Sullivan@1:2320/100 to Dave Coble on Wed Feb 2 19:48:10 2005
    DAVE COBLE and ALL will demonstrate tag-team Another Oldie.
    Everyone take notes.

    Okay, I guess it's time to let the cat out of the bag....

    It's dead.

    *I* bought Commodore International, Ltd.!!!!

    <F/X: Monitor sprayed with Mt Dew>

    I thought about buying a bottle of "Pepsi Free" yesterday, but instead, I decided to put that dollar bill to better use. So, in a fit
    of impulsive frenzy, I flew down to the Bahamas and purchased
    Commodore International for ONE DOLLAR, thereby saving the Amiga
    computer platform from an uncertain, oblivious future! As a side
    benefit, I have spared the current Amiga-using community of the endless torture of constant rumor-mongering!

    Well, at least no more rumors.

    As the new owner of Commodore, I, Robert Owens, hearby pledge to:

    - Hire Howard Stern, Roseanne Arnold, and Barney the Purple Dinosaur as
    spokespersons for the company!

    We're doomed.

    - Give the Amiga a new name: "Rowdy Rob's Box o' Fun!"

    Complete with WWE music and walk-on?

    - Slap all Macintosh and PC users I come into direct contact with!

    You could have done that for free.

    - Encourage all Amiga owners to get green mohawk hairdos!

    <Fornicate> you.

    - Re-introduce the Vic-20 computer to the power-starved masses!

    TRy the C-64; we won't laugh as hard...or cry.

    - Burn 50 copies of MS-DOS each workday morning!

    Do that many copies still exist?

    - Give away a box of Twinkies with each Amiga purchase!

    Paging Harvey Milk...

    - Get some underworld thugs to kick Irving Gould's butt off of the
    company premises!

    Some Team Amiga members would do that for free.

    - Enjoy a cruel laugh as Electronic Arts' 3DO system flops in the
    marketplace!

    Been there, done that,

    - Produce sexist Amiga commercials featuring 50 scantily-clad models
    undulating over a pile of Amiga computers! (Hey, it works for
    Budwieser!)

    You get a better "buzz" from Bud.

    - Use my newly acquired clout to convince Newtek to "Get rid of that
    Wil Wheaton chump!"

    Try Alt.Wesley.Crusher.die.die.die!

    - Release a swarm of killer bees at Microsoft headquarters!

    To catch the escaping brain-waves? (Scott Adams joke)

    - Include autographed photos of myself in each computer box (in order
    to attract more females to the Amiga platform!)!

    Lieber Paula has just smashed her monitor.

    - Hire a bunch of wild, inbred chimpanzees as marketing executives!
    (hey, how much worse could they be?)

    Stop repeating the past!

    - Find out once and for all if Atari ST owners actually exist, or are
    just mythical figures with no basis in fact!

    Jay Miner and Dave Haynie are sharpening large, heavy-bladed instruments, I hear.

    - Keep the same 8-year-old, 4-channel sound chip. (Let's see how long
    we can milk this sucker!)

    About as long as we can 24-bit color.

    - Sit through an entire episode of SeaQuest DSV without falling asleep!

    NEVER HAPPEN!

    - Include the game "Bloodthirsty Buttkickers from Mars" with each CD32
    game console! *PARENTAL GUIDANCE SUGGESTED*!

    /Mars/ /Attacks!/ bombed in theaters.

    - Skim company profits for my own personal benefit! (You didn't
    seriously think I would let Gould and Ali have all the fun, did you?)

    Jay and Dave will have company.

    - Hold my breath until Dave Haynie comes back to work for Commodore!

    Got your death taxes paid up?

    - Provide the R&D department with an endless supply of beer and Jello!

    That's how we got ISA instead of PCI, moron!

    - Sell the names of all known PC users to kinky mailing lists!

    Which ones /aren't/ they on?

    - Introduce a new marketing slogan: "Buy Amigas. We need the money!"

    Honesty. what a concept.

    - Or how about: "Get Funky, Get Hype, Get Fresh, Get Stoopid... Get
    AMIGA!"

    Get /OUT/!

    .... and last, but not least,

    I pledge to promote peace, tranquility, and brotherly love amongst owners of all brands of computers, so that together, we may ease the
    ills of our society and promote the attributes of generosity, justice, virtue, and most of all, wisdom and intelligence.
    For once the world at large develops these traits, they will all collectively wonder..... WHY IN THE HECK DID WE OVERLOOK THE AMIGA IN
    THE FIRST PLACE?!?! MS-DOS?!?! WHAT WERE WE THINKING?!?

    What have you been smoking?

    So, fellow Amigans, rejoice and be in good cheer, for *I* am now the head honcho at Commodore! Happy days are here again!

    Yours Truly,

    Robert W. Owens
    New CEO, Commodore International, Ltd.

    And now, everyone who read this (but me) will suffer massive strokes.
    Mercy killings?

    Todd Sullivan

    ... Better to light one fundy than curse the darkness.

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  • From Dave Coble@1:2320/100 to Todd Sullivan on Sat Feb 5 08:14:26 2005
    Okay, I guess it's time to let the cat out of the bag....

    It's dead.


    Glad you enjoyed these. I pulled my amiga out of the box again and found these. I thought I'd share what I found
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  • From Todd Sullivan@1:2320/100 to Dave Coble on Sun Feb 6 16:20:26 2005
    DAVE COBLE and I will demonstrate tag-team Another facetious reply.
    Everyone take notes.

    Okay, I guess it's time to let the cat out of the bag....

    It's dead.

    Glad you enjoyed these. I pulled my amiga out of the box again and
    found these. I thought I'd share what I found

    It's okay. I thought I recognized them.
    They're still funny, and always open for commentary.

    Todd Sullivan

    ... "This is K'vin getting RDIS'd again." - Syndi

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  • From Dave Drum@1:2320/100 to Dave Coble on Mon Feb 14 20:22:02 2005
    On 02-01-05 DAVE COBLE Typed to ALL about Another Oldie

    Okay, I guess it's time to let the cat out of the bag....

    *I* bought Commodore International, Ltd.!!!!

    I thought about buying a bottle of "Pepsi Free" yesterday, but
    instead, I decided to put that dollar bill to better use. So, in a
    fit of impulsive frenzy, I flew down to the Bahamas and purchased DC>Commodore International for ONE DOLLAR, thereby saving the Amiga
    computer platform from an uncertain, oblivious future! As a side
    benefit, I have spared the current Amiga-using community of the
    endless torture of constant rumor-mongering!

    Excellent chemicals

    ENJOY!!!
    --------
    UNCLE DIRTY DAVE'S KITCHEN --
    Home of Yaaaaa Hooooo Aaahhh!!! HOT SAUCE and Hardin Cider

    - Brain/Pinky 2008! First America, then the WORLD!!!!


    ... Artists are never Puritans and seldom even respectable.

    1436 Days and Counting
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  • From Greg Goodwin@1:2320/100 to Todd Sullivan on Sat Jan 16 09:53:18 2010
    So how's it going out there? And do you still have the Amiga's going? I have an Amiga 500.

    . . Doctor Clu (member of...)
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  • From Benny Pedersen@1:2320/100 to Greg Goodwin on Sat Jan 30 07:11:36 2010
    Hello Greg!

    16 Jan 10 09:53, Greg Goodwin wrote to Todd Sullivan:

    So how's it going out there? And do you still have the Amiga's going?
    I have an Amiga 500.

    i plan to get one back on here, miss time with PINT (Pint Is Not Thor) :)


    Regards Benny


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