• An Oldie

    From Dave Coble@1:2320/100 to All on Sun Jan 23 23:38:18 2005
    What kind of an Amiga owner are you?
    ====================================

    1. Who's really responsible the Amiga's "death" ?
    a) God
    b) Bill Clinton, John M., Jean C., etc.
    c) Marc Barrett
    d) Irv the Ghoul & Mehdi Ali

    2. A good clone is:
    a) 486DX/66 MHz running Windows 3.1 with 16MB of RAM and 1GB drive.
    b) the same system running OS/2 2.2 instead of Windows.
    c) the same system running NeXTStep.
    d) a dead one.

    3. If someone were to give me a clone for free, I would:
    a) be speechless ... oh, the joy of Windows ... I can't wait to sit
    through the bootup procedure. Oooooh, that drive thrashing
    sounds marvelous!
    b) thank him/her, then dedicate the clone to playing Doom every so
    often.
    c) thank him/her, then quickly sell it to buy another Amiga (and
    remember to cross his/her name off your Christmas mailing list).
    d) open the machine quickly and salvage all the neat toys for my
    Amiga.

    4. Your friend came over to your house and found a nondescript computer
    on the floor next to the door. You told him that it is:
    a) a clone. I am upgrading the CPU and motherboard for more memory
    so I can run the latest versions of Windows applications.
    b) a clone. I am getting it fixed soon so I can get on with my
    life.
    c) a clone. Wanna buy it? Cheap?
    d) a clone. Dutifully serving its current function as a high-tech
    doorjam ever since you bought your Amiga.

    5. So you've bought a new game that cost you a good bit of lunch money
    but the copy protection scheme won't let it run on your A3000/A4000/
    A-anything except the developer's decrepit old A500 with severe
    drive alignment problem. (or, alternatively, you purchased an
    otherwise respectable "pain"'ing program that came with a dongle ...
    pick your own scenario) your reaction, as an Amiga owner, is:
    a) so ... what else is new?
    b) write nasty letters and vowed never buy another product from them
    again.
    c) inform them of their sins and urge them to repent.
    d) recommend the clone version of the product to your clone-owning
    friends.

    6. Now that Commodore US went "poof", my Amiga:
    a) doesn't work anymore. All of a sudden there's this weird
    flashing red box on the screen: "GURU MEDITATION:
    8001deadbeef00f2 1000", it said. After consulting the owner's
    manual, I discover that the Larkin chip had just self-destructed.
    b) I have no life ... let alone an Amiga.
    c) wears a new "Commodore Deathbed Vigil" T-shirt, and I'll never
    wash it!
    d) is humming along just fine, thank you for asking ... been that
    way for years.

    7. Amidst rumors of the Samsung purchase of Amiga technologies, I:
    a) am so ashamed. Anybody wanna get this useless A4000 off me?
    Cheap?
    b) remember buying something incredibly cheap from them a long time
    ago.
    c) remember buying something incredibly cost-effective from them a
    long time ago ... and wouldn't you know it ... it's still working
    today!
    d) am looking forward to possible licensing of Amiga technologies so
    there will finally (possibly) be Amiga clones and the software
    market will expand and the world be such a nice place and the sun
    will shine just a little brighter each day and the Amiga
    programmers should be worshipped (and wear capes if they wanted
    to) ...

    8. When I see a clone user engaging in such an unsavory act of ...
    piracy, I: (Whatcha thinking? This is a PG13 echo, eh!)
    a) ask them for a copy of the software, oh please ... can I have
    one? huh?
    b) call the FBI..."uh shunny, whatchasay, a pirate clown? with
    floppy ears?"
    c) <insert your own personal reactions here>
    d) cross your fingers and hope they never waddle through our Amiga
    pond.

    9. From the day I bought my Amiga, my life has been:
    a) going downhill. I remember how popular I once was, when I was
    part of "the crowd". All those clone ex-friends feverishly
    exchanging the latest warez. Hey, DuDZ, wanna copy of Excel for a
    few blank disks?
    b) why should I tell you? In fact, why the heck am I reading this
    stuff now? I should have been online answering my love letters.
    c) improving ... now I am dating a girl/guy from across the country.
    Oh, I met her/him on on-line networks and we hit it off instantly
    <sigh> She/he does own a clone/Mac, though.
    d) what life? I have no life. It's just me and the Amiga. <click>
    <click>

    10. Who "looks like a professor gone terribly wrong" ?
    a) why, me, of course!
    b) Joyce Divina
    c) Skal Lorett
    d) Eric V. Petersen

    and lastly,

    Zeemah:
    a) is a unique alcoholic windshield washing fluid.
    b) is a perfect substitute if you happen to need battery acid on a
    dirt road ... away from all known civilizations.
    c) produces a bunch of annoying commercials.
    d) zucks.
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  • From Todd Sullivan@1:2320/100 to Dave Coble on Tue Jan 25 11:36:00 2005
    DAVE COBLE and ALL will demonstrate tag-team An Oldie. Everyone take notes.

    What kind of an Amiga owner are you?
    ====================================

    This looks like the "Take C" quiz from the /John/-/Boy/ /and/ /Billy/ /Show/.

    You won't like some of my answers, though.

    1. Who's really responsible the Amiga's "death" ?

    d) Irv the Ghoul & Mehdi Ali

    Who else?

    2. A good clone is:

    b) the same system running OS/2 2.2 instead of Windows.

    At least it /looks/ right...

    3. If someone were to give me a clone for free, I would:

    b) thank him/her, then dedicate the clone to playing Doom every so
    often.

    S'truth!

    d) open the machine quickly and salvage all the neat toys for my
    Amiga.

    /What/ neat toys? We're talking about a clone...

    4. Your friend came over to your house and found a nondescript
    computer on the floor next to the door. You told him that it is:

    b) a clone. I am getting it fixed soon so I can get on with my
    life.

    Yeah.../what/ life?

    d) a clone. Dutifully serving its current function as a high-tech
    doorjam ever since you bought your Amiga.

    Why would I have a clone?

    5. So you've bought a new game that cost you a good bit of lunch money
    but the copy protection scheme won't let it run on your
    (pick your own scenario) your reaction, as an Amiga owner, is:

    a) so ... what else is new?

    d) recommend the clone version of the product to your clone-owning
    friends.

    6. Now that Commodore US went "poof", my Amiga:

    d) is humming along just fine, thank you for asking ... been that
    way for years.

    7. Amidst rumors of the Samsung purchase of Amiga technologies, I:
    c) remember buying something incredibly cost-effective from them a
    long time ago ... and wouldn't you know it ... it's still
    working today!

    d) am looking forward to possible licensing of Amiga technologies
    (et cetera, et cetera..)

    8. When I see a clone user engaging in such an unsavory act of ...
    piracy, I: (Whatcha thinking? This is a PG13 echo, eh!)

    c) Let them suffer. It's a freaking clone!

    9. From the day I bought my Amiga, my life has been:

    d) what life? I have no life. It's just me and the Amiga. <click>
    <click>

    10. Who "looks like a professor gone terribly wrong" ?
    a) why, me, of course!

    If I wore glasses. (snerk!)

    b) Joyce Divina
    c) Skal Lorett
    d) Eric V. Petersen

    All of the above. I've actually /met/ Joyce.

    and lastly,

    Zeemah:
    a) is a unique alcoholic windshield washing fluid.
    b) is a perfect substitute if you happen to need battery acid on a
    dirt road ... away from all known civilizations.
    c) produces a bunch of annoying commercials.
    d) zucks.

    All of the above. It certainly wasn't meant to be /consumed/.

    And it's spelled "Zima."

    Todd Sullivan

    ... "Oh god, they're smiling at each other..." RUN!!!!!" - DavidM

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